Communal Loadwork

I find it incredibly cruel to insist upon calmness and positivity from someone who is currently triggered. It’s like a slap in the face to an already disregulated nervous system, asking for more energy from a maxed out platform. We can be better friends and confidants if we can ask ourselves to listen without taking the volume or choice of words personally unless it is directed toward us. I find often, it’s more of an explosion of emotion from holding them within or having to undergo a long term stressful situation. If we can’t handle the extra energy ourselves, we can create a loving boundary stating that fact rather than insist the other person must change, which can make them feel wrong or unloved. We can be kinder this way and allow our loved ones to express themselves freely and heal, while also creating more connection. We can all do our part of the work. It makes us all grow!