So I just needed to get it out. Be heard. I have CPTSD. I have been suffering from this for a long time now and it has been one hell of a long hard road. Especially not understanding what was going on or having any type of diagnosis for years except anxiety. But it was never just anxiety. There were days when I wanted to die. Days when I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs “FUCK ALL OF THIS!!!!!” There were days when caring about anything was too much of an energy requirement so I would just stay in bed and heal (hide). There were days where the flashbacks made me wanna crawl the walls or run as far as I possibly could to anywhere and everywhere but my body didn’t want to move or do anything more than go to the restroom… and even that was a chore. Way to make someone wanna go crazy. Just call me twitch. haha

There was so much more to say, but my laptop died in mid sentence. This is just a glimpse of where I have been and where I am no longer…. ¬†meow.


Love Will Hold Down the Fort

All she could see were the dimensions. No explanations. No official form or structure. Just the dimensions, floating around in The Big Squishy all loose like gum balls in a candy machine. Naturally, traveling through this in a time as mysterious as today would be a disaster, but she had few choices and this one was the least excruciating. “Go with your flow Child. Trust the light within,” lingering in her ears as fresh as it was first spoken, she attempted to gather her thoughts and belongings and piece  them together as best she could and put some oatmeal on the stove. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day…

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