Oh The Strings….

Still releasing attachments. There are SO many. My life was being completely consumed with fuzzy, deteriorating strings. Heavy, dark, and unhopeful. What I thought were dreams eventually became my nightmares.

I am seeing now that I do not want children. I like them in my life, and they are THE most precious thing on this planet in my opinion, but I’m not raising one. No matter how cute you are… Too many times, in fear of conflict or loss, I succumbed to the dream of another to have a child. I showed all the appropriate excitement and desire and romance thoughts toward this idea but deep down inside there was a little shadow screaming that I didn’t even spend enough time with me, so what the heck was I thinking? And she was right. I need and want this time of mine and perhaps I am selfish with it at the moment, but that’s what I need to do me and I will not be ashamed of it. Cause the world definitely needs a Tamberine, right? Duh.

I do not, and have not truly ever, desired to be married. Now you may be saying to yourself, “Now Tamberine, you are so full of it! I’ve seen and heard you turn into a literal puddle of child mess when so and so asked you to marry him!” (This had happened 3 times in my life) Yes, you are correct. But was this MY dream or his? If you asked a 17 year old me this question, you would have gotten a BIG FAT no, and maybe a look of wtf, and a big shake of the head. And not out of fear but out of determination that I do what I want and don’t need a peice of paper to describe my love to make it so.  Haha This girl CAN NOT be tied down or else she will die. And I have proven that over and over again. Ball and chain equals death. Haha Ok. Maybe that’s a tiny bit dramatic. I do enjoy and require commitment, but not necessarily a legal bond. It’s just not needed in my opinion.

I want community more than I want a love partner. These two can work together but in the past have drawn me away from my community and life goals. We must all work together within our lives to truly thrive. If the man I am smitten with does not fit into this dream, how is it fair for either of us to continue chipping parts of ourselves away? Compromise is good, but too much is draining.

I am also releasing the attachment to traditional views of success. The whole get a good job and make lots of money, have a family and die thing has never really worked for me and only became a goal from outside influence. It has stuck for many years that no matter what I do in life that these goals must be met as well. The itch to take care of this was almost a dull ache as time went on. The minutes were ticking away.  This is so against what my soul truly believes though. I believe there are millions of ways to be successful and they all look different from one another, so why am I judging mine based on another person’s idea of it? Or society’s idea of it? Just conditioning. And fortunately reconditioning is a thing. Working on this.

These are just a few of the major attachments that I have been unsurfacing recently through my journey of healing and self discovery. They appear on their own as they always have and I have finally been able to tune in, listen to my heart and release the ones that don’t belong to me. Bye Felicia. Have a nice trip. 😂

Good day to you all and may your dreams come true. ❤💥🦄

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Love Will Hold Down the Fort

All she could see were the dimensions. No explanations. No official form or structure. Just the dimensions, floating around in The Big Squishy all loose like gum balls in a candy machine. Naturally, traveling through this in a time as mysterious as today would be a disaster, but she had few choices and this one was the least excruciating. “Go with your flow Child. Trust the light within,” lingering in her ears as fresh as it was first spoken, she attempted to gather her thoughts and belongings and piece  them together as best she could and put some oatmeal on the stove. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day…

Ice Bursts on a Sunny Afternoon

Can you dig it? My long time friend and co-conspirator Johnny Dandruff and I have been making weekly treks into the woods for a few months now. Rain or shine. Or sometimes snow… This began as a way to get ourselves out in Nature and to test some of JD’s gear that he has been collecting. Now it’s a routine that is much appreciated and desired for each weeks ‘Spiritual Adventures.’ The Ice Flowers mesmerized us for quite some time in the semi melted rocky woods of the Boro. They were freshly bursted (yup I made that one up) and on display in the shade just shy of the Sun’s warming rays. We created hilarious stories as to how they were formed and I acted them out with great enthusiasm. I’m sure you can imagine. We stared at them in awe for what seemed like ages. We (I) talked to them. They were pretty quiet. Like fancy little Unicorns. Always keeping you guessing.

Desire, How I Missed Thee…

Things to Remember:
There is virtue in all that you do. EVERYTHING has purpose. Time is a wheel, not a line. You are the Gatekeeper. Unicorns and Fairies DO EXIST. Heaven is actually NeverNeverLand. We are one. Sparkles, onesies, and body paint are always an option. Do what you want. Harm none. LOVE PREVAILS ALL.

The Eagle Carries the Word in the Eyes of God

It’s incredibly interesting what life can throw at you. What I once thought was a gift from The Universe, one that felt safe, solid and true; transforms itself into an uncomfortable and familiar situation. One that I, personally, have seen too many times in my short existence here. The difference this time, is that the infiltration was seen early and remedied swiftly; so smoothly it made me laugh. I’m getting good. In the very process of this happening, new and exciting doors have opened. Much needed gaping wide doors. Oh how I love doors… Questions were brought to my attention. Why am I feeling stuck? When did I stop traveling, dancing and playing? What am I going to do about it now? The answer to the last one is ANYTHING. Any step I take with this intention in my heart is the right one. I just need to take it. I could get a passport and go to Costa Rica, Bali, Ireland, Mexico or wherever my heart desires! I could stay at home. Boring, safe and sound. (:/ I don’t like that one.) Or I could listen to my most trusted guide and hop on this bus headed West and see where The Universe takes me now. I could live the story I’ve been writing in my head since I was a tiny little lady at the age of 4 whole years, drinking water out of a fountain in the desert. I knew then, and forgot somewhere along the journey of adulthood, what this was all really about. Making this life mine. This will be a story of letting things go, discovering who I truly am, allowing abundance to shower me with it’s awesomeness, and learning to truly be. FREE.

Love you all.

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